508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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