There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
