Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
