i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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