you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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