I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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