I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
