Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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