I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
