omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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