I got chris browned last night
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
