zippers are such a cool invention
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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