he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
