does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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