I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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