you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So much rum. So many feels.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
