Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
