So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
