he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
