i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
