if i died would you start the facebook group?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
