Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
