I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
