is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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