I should be sponsored by Trojan
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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