I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
