YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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