I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
