u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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