Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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