i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
