His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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