College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
