5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Farmville is her only friend.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
