Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
