dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
