I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your penis caused this!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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