Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
