so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
