apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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