Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize