ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
