I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
