she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
