Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
