He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
