Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
