marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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