I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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