Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
