wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
